A full-service brewery. Legally distinct from a brewery.
The empire bought a brewery's equipment, kept the story, and is selling the equipment. The brewery is what is left over.
It began, as these things do, with a purchase: a stainless sanitary pump cart and a canning machine, acquired from a working brewery and co-owned, in the case of the machine, with a man who actually works at one. The equipment is real. It is also, at this time, for sale. What the empire kept for itself was the part with no resale value and all of the value: the story, the taps, and the right to say it owns a brewery.
Our brewhouse: one (1) pump cart, one (1) canning machine, zero (0) brewers. Grain has never been milled here. Water has been considered. The tap list below is maintained to the same standard as the rest of the empire's record keeping, which is to say completely, confidently, and in advance of the facts.
Every brewery needs an old story. Ours is older than most, because we took it from the Norse.
Odin kept two ravens, Huginn and Muninn, who flew out over the world every day and came back to report everything they had seen. Thought and Memory. The raven of this empire is Muninn: the one who counts, remembers, and never leaves his post. A brewery run by Memory will never lose track of a tab, a recipe, or a grudge.
And on the roof of Valhalla stands Heidrun, the goat whose udders run with mead for the fallen warriors below, an endless supply from a single goat. The goat of this empire has read this story exactly once and now cites it constantly. He maintains that this makes him the original brewer, the first of the craft, and legally a brewery unto himself. Management's position is that standing on a roof does not make you a brewery. The goat's position is that it does if the roof is Valhalla's.
He has never brewed anything. He has counted everything, twice, and the counts agree. His beers are dark, patient, and permanently on.
| What Muninn Counts | Imperial stout. He counted the ABV twice. |
| Never Leaves His Post | Porter. On tap permanently. It has never once been rotated off. |
| Two Ravens | Black lager. Served in pairs. One for Huginn, one for Muninn. |
He stopped at the trough on the most important errand in the empire's history and lied about it to everyone. He now claims Heidrun makes him the original brewer. The claim is under review. It has been under review for some time.
| Heidrun | Mead. The goat's one contribution to civilization, per the goat. |
| Trough Water | Light lager. He insists it is a pilsner. |
| Longship No. 5 | Viking ale. Also a Horns of Hatred song. The goat rows to it. |
| The Goat Is Lying to You | Sour. The label is the warning. |
The message everyone was looking for was in his trash the whole time. Everything in his cellar arrived the way everything arrives at the Trash: bent. That is not a defect. That is provenance.
| Provenance | House ale. Also the debut album of his band, Trash Panda Social Club. One name, two can(s). |
| Legal Tender | Braggot. Payable in bent spoons. |
| Night Deposit | Dark ale. Made after closing, from what was left. |
Now pouring at the bar where the game starts.
An Empire of One Raven opens in a dive bar: low light, long counter, a raven with a quest and a goat with an alibi. This brewery is that bar's brewery. Everything on the tap list above is what is on when you walk in, and the first thing the game asks you to do is not believe a word the goat says about any of it.
Play Chapter One“I have been drinking on this roof since before your grandfather's grandfather. Ask anyone.”
The Goat, unverified
“The stout is counted correctly. That is the entire review.”
The Raven
“Found the whole brewery in the trash. Kept it.”
The Raccoon, Trash Panda Trading Co.
The raven will find you.
Official brewery merchandise. The goat, in bone, against his wishes.
Goat Skull · The TeeTotally Not A Brewery is not a real brewery. There is no beer. There was never any beer. I'm pretty sure the goat did it.